Week 16: Marbled Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

This week I chose to make marbled chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. I found this recipe last week while browsing the internet for additional cookie recipes.  It sounded yummy and it had all the elements that my family likes.  When I asked Dan and the kids for suggestions on what type of cookie to make this week I got a mixed response.  Ryan of course wanted either snickerdoodles or chocolate chip cookies, Victoria wanted a chocolate cookie, and Dan didn't care either way.  I view this cookie as a "win win" as it has the best of both worlds...chocolate chips for Ryan, and a half chocolate cookie for Victoria.  The cookies came out great.  They actually remind me of a yin yang. 

The family liked them and all were satisfied with the choice for this week.
Here is the link to the recipe that I used: http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/marbled-chocolate-chip-oatmeal-cookies-829525/

Our wedding November 11, 1995

When I saw this recipe I immediately thought "black and white cookies."  When I hear the phrase black and white I always think about old movies, and black and white photos.  I love love love old black and white movies as I wrote about in previous weeks.  I also love love love black and white photos.  Previoulsy,  I wrote about loving old photos of my parents and grandparents, but I also love current photos of my family in black and white.  In fact, when Dan and I were interviewing photographers for our wedding,  that was a question that I always asked..."do you have the capability to do black and white photos?"  In our wedding album we have a few pages of just black and white photos amongst the color ones. The photo on the right is one of our favorites from our wedding day.

2003

Some of my absolute favorite pictures of Dan and the kids, are pictures that I have taken in color, and then converted to black and white.  Back in the day when I still used a 35mm camera,  I routinely bought black and white film to keep and use whenever the mood struck.  Now it's much easier as I no longer need special film, and I still convert color pictures to black and white all the time.  When I was pregnant with Ryan,  Dan and I were certain that he was our last child.  I unfortunately had a ton of  pregnancy related health issues, and had lost a baby in between Victoria and Ryan.  So Dan and I "white knuckled" it until his birth and then called it quits.  Because we knew that Ryan would be our last baby, we wanted to do something special to document the occasion.  We decided to have professional photos taken of us while I was pregnant, and then additional photos taken right after Ryan was born. I treasure these pictures and to this day they are some of my favorite pictures ever taken of us.  We chose to have the pictures taken in black and white as both Dan and I really love black and white photos.  Here are a few of my favorites from those photo shoots.   Here is the link to the photographer we used...she was amazing and very reasonably priced: http://www.sacredportraitsphotography.com/home.html

Other than movies and photos, my life generally falls into one of two categories when it comes to black and white things...like and dislike.  For example, I prefer black articles of clothing (especially sweaters) and really don't care for white.  I like black vehicles and do not prefer white vehicles, especially in lieu of the dirt roads we drive on every day.  I prefer black handbags and shoes as opposed to white, and I'd rather go casual than be required to wear "black tie" attire. 

 There is an exception to the rule when it comes to black or white.  A case in which I like both colors equally and at the same time.  It is related to my kitties, Merlin and Abby.  Dan and I got Merlin from the Humane Society during our first year of marriage.  He is essentially our first baby.  We have had him for 15 years and he remains a huge part of our family.  Abby our second furry baby, came into our family after we moved into our first home.  She is much different than Merlin,  but we love her to pieces as well.  They are like a yin yang too... in appearance and in personality.  Merlin is mostly white with a few black markings, and Abby is mostly black with some white markings.  We didn't plan it that way (yes I am organized but I did not color coordinate my pets ☺).   Below is a recent picture of the babies napping together.  I think it's funny that when they sleep next to each other (which they do quite frequently) they actually look like a yin yang.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my frustration with all the "gray areas" of life.  As I made this cookie today, I again reflected on my penchant for dichotomous thinking. I usually categorize things into "one or the other"... almost always catgeories of 2.  This fits when you think about the "black and white" of life. Well I hate that life doesn't cooperate and fit into my mental categories.  I am continually reminded, however, that I need to get over this resistance of the gray areas, and instead embrace the fact that most of life is indeed gray. Rarely does life work out exactly one way or another,  it is usually somewhere in the middle...somewhere in the gray. I think my dislike for the gray areas metaphorically feels like trying to jam a square peg into a round opening.  No matter how hard I try it just doesn't fit.  This "square peg-round opening"  is exactly how I feel when I try to conceptualize the rest of my life without my Mom...it just doesn't fit.  It makes sense logically as I know she is no longer here, but it is still so surreal when I think about it.  If her absence is the black, what is the white?  I am uncertain because for now, as much as I wish it were different, I remain in the gray. ♥