This week I chose to make night and day cookies. My choices were limited this week as I only had 2 cups of flour left in the house. I have no time to go to the grocery store (which is 15 minutes away), so I had to choose a recipe that called for 2 cups or less of flour. This recipe called for 2 cups exactly and I had all the other ingredients so I selected it for this week. It is a very easy recipe and the resulting cookies are AMAZING! Dan and the kids really liked them. They are like a chocolate chocolate chip cookie with the addition of white chocolate chips too...YUM. When you look at the cookies, you can really see the contrast between the dark dough and the white chocolate chips thus the name night and day. Here is the link to the recipe that I used:
http://www.mycookingblog.com/1-shirley.php/?id=2906.
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| Silly Victoria is back! |
In addition to the flour restriction, I liked the name of these cookies as I feel my life has been like night and day lately. Last week was not that great. Victoria was feeling pretty bad. In addition to the headaches she has another bladder infection...UGH! Last week we also conducted an experiment with regards to Victoria's medication. Our pharmacy messed up the prescription for the diuretic she has to take, and it couldn't get remedied until Monday after the doctor's office opened. So on Monday morning she was out of the medication and therefore couldn't take it. Well long story short she felt better having not taken the diuretic. In fact it was the first day since July 14th that she didn't have a headache! So after speaking with her neurologist, we decided to take a break from the medication for 2 days. She was then supposed to resume taking the medication on the third day to see if there was a difference. The difference was like night and day! On Monday and Tuesday (off the med) she felt and acted like her old self. See picture above. On Wednesday (back on the med) she was miserable. Night and day! Needless to say we stopped that medication and she is now on a different diuretic. She is much happier this week and I feel as if my sweet Victoria has returned. The difference between last week on the old diuretic, and this week on the new diuretic is like...guess what? Yep...like night and day. My only concern is that this new diuretic is less effective than the old one, BUT she has no side effects. So we just have to be patient and wait and see.
I wrote in a couple of earlier blogs about my hatred of living in the "gray areas of life." I much prefer to have things black or white...night or day. It's the middle area that I don't enjoy. I don't like the "wait and see" aspects of life. Given that sentiment I hate having to "wait and see" what's going to happen with Victoria. I want to know...and I want to know NOW, that this medication is going to work for her. I want to know NOW that her headaches will go away. I want to know NOW that she'll be able to go back to school next week, and make it through the day pain free. I want to know NOW that I can finally exhale. I feel like I have been holding my breath in a sense since July 14th. I am tired of waiting...let's get to the "see" part. I think the reason that I hate the "wait and see" parts of life is that those parts make me feel helpless. If there is something to be done I am much more comfortable. If I am taking action I feel like I am helping in some way. It's the "sit around and wait to see what happens" that drives me nuts. I have always been this way. I guess that means that I am an impatient person right? I'm not 100% sure. There are times when I amaze myself with the amount of patience that I have, and then there are times when I feel myself getting frustrated really quickly. I can be patient with children. I can be patient with animals. I can be patient when it comes to teaching my kids things new things, BUT then I can be extremely impatient too. I hate to "wait and see" about almost anything...but especially about things like this. I hate to see people suffer, and watching Victoria suffer is gut wrenching. Add to that "ugliness" the fact that there is nothing I can do to help her and it is unbearable. I never EVER again want to go through what we have gone through with her for the last 6 weeks. I hope that on this new medication she will get better quickly, and not even take so much as a cursory glance over her shoulder at the ugliness that she's had to endure.
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| "Just keep swimming..." |
This situation is a painful reminder of what we went through with my Mom the last 7 weeks of her life. It was similar in that I knew she was suffering and there wasn't a damn thing I could do except "wait and see." We were at the mercy of the health care professionals (and I use the term very loosely) that were in charge of her care, and I don't know that I ever felt so helpless in my entire life. That is until all these health issues with Victoria cropped up. We have covered a lot of territory, and I sincerely hope that we have rounded the proverbial corner, and are now inching our way to the finish line. I guess we just have to "wait and see" what happens next. As I write this we are one week away from the start of the new school year. My life will again undergo a night and day transformation. My schedule gets much more hectic when the kids are in school, and I am not looking forward to the harried pace that we must keep. As I wrote last week, life keeps moving forward whether we are ready or not. So I'll "just keeping swimming" until we get to a place where we can take a breather and just float. You best believe that when I no longer need both my arms to keep me above life's proverbial water, that I will indeed float...and I'll do it with a cookie in each hand. ♥
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Just keep swimming...
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