Week 33: Lavender Cookies

This week I chose to make lavender cookies.  It was an easy decision as on Saturday we went to the Michigan lavender festival at Blake's in Armada.  We try to go every year because I love love love lavender, and it's always a fun afternoon. Back in week 25,  I made lavender lemon shortbread  cookies and they were delicious.  These cookies are tasty too, but if I had to pick a favorite between the two recipes, week 25 wins. This week's cookie tastes like a sugar cookie with a hint of lavender flavor. Here is a link to the recipe that I used: http://www.squidoo.com/lavender-cookies.

As I mentioned above, yesterday we went to the lavender festival.  It was really hot but we had a good time.  Part of the reason I wanted to go was to pick up my gift basket. I mentioned back in week 25 that I entered an "I Love Lavender" photo contest and came in first place. See photo on the left.  I made arrangements with the sponsor of the photo contest (who is also the organizer of the lavender festival) to meet up on Saturday and claim my prize. The prize was a lavender laundry gift basket and I cannot wait to try it!  Jennifer (the organizer) also mentioned wanting to meet the kids and get a photo with them.  I was very excited to go but was unsure if we could make it.  Friday was an awful day.  We decided to take Victoria to the eye doctor as she had headaches, and we wanted to verify that she didn't need glasses.  Well at the appointment the opthamologist determined that both of her optic nerves were inflamed so she needed to speak with our pediatrician.   We were directed to St. John for an MRI to rule out anything that may be causing the inflammation and the inter cranial pressure.  After we were on our way we received a call that if the MRI was normal, they wanted to do a lumbar puncture! Apparently if Victoria had the condition they suspected the puncture could alleviate pressure in her head and cure her headaches.  I was not happy but if it was a cure I thought we should try it. 

The MRI could not be performed because Victoria has braces...a fact that I explained to everyone that I spoke to.  Well big surprise (sarcasm intended) her braces did not allow the radiologist to get a look at her eyes, so we were directed to the ER for the lumbar puncture. It was awful! Not only did my poor Victoria have to get poked several times, but they broke several needles as they kept hitting her spine!  In the end they could not get any fluid as they could not perform the puncture appropriately...apparently her spine is very narrow and they could not position the needle they way they needed to.  That scene in the ER with her is enough to send me to therapy but that's a story for a different time. They then decided to perform a CT scan and deemed that all is normal in her brain THANK GOD!  There are no masses, no bleeds, no tumors...nothing!  We need to follow up with a neurologist and our allergist to determine the cause of the inflammation, but thankfully Victoria is fine. With all of the madness that occurred on Friday, I was very uncertain that we'd make it to the lavender festival on Saturday.  However, Victoria woke up early on Saturday and really wanted to go, so we did.

Even though all the tests turned out okay, and we are not dealing with anything really scary, I am still feeling shell shocked. I feel as if we dodged a bullet.  During the time on Friday when the results were uncertain, I feel as if I lived an entire lifetime...an entire lifetime that no one wants to live.  I was in a very dark place mentally, and allowed myself to think the unthinkable...that perhaps she had something really really bad.  It was awful.  I cannot imagine the day to day lives of the parents of children who are afflicted with really scary illnesses.  Illnesses that don't go away, or if they do, only after intense medical intervention. The 12 hours that we weren't sure if she was going to be okay, were the longest 12 hours of my life.  I never ever want to go through that again.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  It was the first time since my Mom passed away that I actually had the thought..."I am so glad that my Mom isn't here to see this." 

Speaking of my Mom, it was like salt in a wound to be back at St. John.  I truly hate that hospital.  I haven't been there since my Mom left that terrible place in an ambulance on her way to Ann Arbor.  By the time she got to U of M, the damage was done.  Unfortunately the inept staff at St. John had a hand in making things worse for her.  I hope with every fiber of my being that I never ever have to go there again.





I am glad to report that despite being really sore Victoria is feeling okay.  We still have some unanswered questions, but at least we know she is alright. I cannot ever recall feeling so relieved as I did when they told us the CT scan was normal.  Since receiving that miraculous news, I am perceiving things differently.  I am trying to be even more patient and compassionate than I already was.  I am overlooking the little irritants.  I am allowing appropriately indulgent things, and I am grateful for every single minute. I never thought I'd be happy to hear my kids bickering, or to trip over yet another wet beach towel on the hallway floor.  I happily clear plates that Victoria left in the living room (next to her makeshift bed...we let her camp out in the recliner as it was more comfortable for her back), and I do even small favors with a smile on my face and in my heart. So despite the fact that we go to the lavender festival every year, I think this year will be the most memorable.  It will always be the year that my photo won first place.  It will always be the year that my sister Amy and the kids "planked" at the festival on the grass.  Most importantly it will always be the year that I received the greatest gift ever...the news that my sweet Victoria is okay. ♥